Mood Ring

Guest Post by K Vee (#7)

Subject:  tempus fugit
people with empty schedules do a lot of walking. it provides purpose, fills holes. my daily constitutional delivered me to prospect park - the uncomely step sister of central. i followed my shoes down one path or another while boneless notions of conquering the planet or at least waking before noon drifted without conclusion. the curved road snapped to attention and a young couple spilled into view. the electricity was palpable. the possibilities were exploding. all the bowls at the party were full. i recalled being there and smiled. when did i settle into the bleachers? the gray gauze of dusk crept forward and smothered a flaring sun. i stretched out in vain as darkness scooped up the fiery presence just ahead. their absence filled with reality. i noticed that the chill had numbed my hands. i began the long journey home where a bowl of tepid soup drawn from a drying well awaited. 


Harriet Street Scenes

Guest Post by K Vee (#6)

Subject:  fire and ice (and bacon)
throughout the day, furious winds crashed against my window and wailed frightfully like inconsolable Mets' fans at the end of yet another lost season. curious to experience the inclement weather firsthand, i decided to go for a late night jog over the brooklyn bridge. oceanic blunder. i wasn't so much running as i was shoving heavy blocks of brutally cold air out of my path. arctic fangs sank deep into my flesh. midway across, i came to the creepy realization that i was the only person on the bridge. no hyperbole here, freddy, i was alone. a terror attack, i stupidly thought? i envisioned a grizzled Brian Dennehy drawing a bead on me through binoculars growling, "that crazy son-of-a-bitch is gonna get himself killed!" a rogue burst almost coaxed me into the east river; time to head home. i lost contact with my face and lower extremities in the icy gusts. Broken and frozen, I staggered into the bedroom where a hissing radiator breathed fire. The Panamanian lay stretched out on the bed, cloaked only in warmth; a sizzling and perfectly browned sausage ready to be parked aside a few syrup soaked pancakes and devoured by some lucky dog of an early bird. Whether it was the result of recent solar flare activity or simply a case of mistaken identity, a concupiscent curl of the lip announced her friday night intentions. i stared blankly and said nothing. would frostbite force the amputation of any of the important parts I still could not feel? I turned and slunk into the kitchen to fry some bacon.

SOUP - April 2010

Emily Meyer May 29, 1982

Lunch with K Vee - June 2010

Guest Post by K Vee (#5)

Subject:  java jive (turkey)
The chicken souvlaki was sufficiently dry, gray and tasteless - on par for an overpriced greek diner. it's a necessary evil on way to the night's highlight, a good cup of coffee and some lighthearted palaver besmirching the many people "i've had it up to here with" with my perpetually pissed off old lady. but what was this muddy fluid that clung to the sides of my mug? perhaps there was a simple misunderstanding in which the english-challenged waiter thought I asked him to have a tiny baby crap in a cup? how accommodating! like a child who unwraps a six pack of tube socks under a christmas tree, i hung my head in utter disappointment. i stared at this muck and could only wonder; when will things change?

Guest Post by K Vee (#4)

Subject:  who you calling dummy, dummy?
I don't know if i have a doorbell as i have had no visitors in 3 yrs. ("make friends" remains unchecked on my to-do list). i do know that the front door has a ferocious slam reminiscent of a howitzer. my old lady used it last night to express her displeasure with certain workplace shenanigans. Raging about her perfidious co-workers, i battled my unrelenting apathy and feigned a look of disgust that apparently did not measure up to her indignation. declaring that i was, "just like everyone else!" she suddenly hushed and burned through me with a wild-eyed gaze. suddenly, i felt like the undersized, gimpy zebra that falls behind the main herd on the way to being eaten on the Discovery Channel. before she could pounce, i bundled up and set off into the chilly dark to see just how slick the black ice is on Atlantic Ave. Ans: Very. getting back up on my feet, i quickly scanned the scene and was relieved to know that no one had witnessed my hapless topple. or had they?  these creepy guys were staring out the window of the antique store where i had my spill... 

Guest Post by K Vee (#3)

This bit of wintry anapamorphism rubbed me in a most unpleasant fashion. some guy looked out the window and instead of seeing the perpetualy raw, open wound that is brooklyn, there lay a pristine pool of plush white snow. a fluffy respite from the daily grime. this jackass' 1st thought? "I'm gonna pound this sh*t into something that looks like me!" you know i've always been politically agnostic when it comes to snowmen, freddy. but the sight of this monstrous perversion of nature has seared the cockles of my misanthropic heart.  i am now firmly ensconced in the party of "No!"

Guest Post by K Vee (#2)

Subject:  Snow
Thought it would be fun to walk home from gym in the snow. Big mistake. A blanket of fat, wet, heavy flakes buried the streets, cars, passers-by, me and any visibility beyond my nose. After an 1hr 1/2 struggle I arrived home frozen and starved. The only thing to eat is Entemann's Guava Cheese Puffs. Huh? My old lady is from Panama and loves this tropical crap. Banana bread is as exotic as I get. She knows this and yet I'm staring at a guava cheese puff. Crazy bitch.

Guest Post by K Vee (#1)

Subject:  Callas
With the utmost respect to Sir Benny Hill, Charlie Callas was the funniest funnyman of all time. The outpouring of grief around the world is a testament to this fact. That said, I am surprised at how hard my Egyptian friends are taking it. My documentary, "Charlie & Chubby: Two Men Who Changed the World" will suffer w/o an interview with Callas. Gotta nail down a sit down with Chubby Checker b4 he checks out. These megastars r not easy to reach.